13

Well, last week it was not any police department that wanted me for an interview but the emergency management center I had applied at way before. Not even for a specific job, I just sent in my CV to get into their database.

I had an interview right with the director of the Supply Center and the HR director. It was such a good intervew, I enjoyed every minute. And now waiting for their decision is making me crazy. I soooo want to move on, from my current life to my new life, I so want this change, this wait is just killing me. I don’t even want to consider the possibility they would turn me down. I don’t want to consider anything like that. Hello, Universe, will you help me out on this one, please???

12

Last Monday, a week ago, the announcement was made. My company is negative as far as the future is concerned. I am needed to stay until the end, June 30. In that case I’ll be given a package. If I leave earlier, I’ll only be given my due salary and maybe 2.5 months more. Something like that.

Well, I may not wait for that package. Today I got a call from the police dept I had applied at. They want to see me at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Am I happy? Helly yeah! Am I surprised? You bet, I thought after all that time gone since my application they would not be interested.

Apparently they are. And it is so exciting. Peak of the day. Low of the day is the accident I had early this morning, with Kiddo on board. Some nuthead bumped into my back while I was waiting at the red light. My back hurts. Today I still need to get it x-rayed to see if the hit caused any harm….

My life is a big whirl. I am so sad for everyone getting in it…

10

My company closes in Q1 2017. I found it out by chance, by being sent an email by one of my service providers that was never meant to be seen by me. Loyalty though made this partner of mine send it to me before giving out a quotation to our EU HQ for a structure completely omitting my team’s participation. I put then a question to my top manager who unofficially broke the news. Q1 2017. Not only for my team – for everyone.

And I am happier than ever. I won’t need to be unfaithful. It is the company that will be unfauithful. And the misery is over. Inhumane working hours and demands are over.

This is my chance to make the change I have wanted. This is my chance to make a step towards the human I want to be. This is my chance to get closer to the happyness I have desired.

This is the happiest Christmas ever. Freed from the burden of work obligations, unveiling the excitement of change. I feel it’s gonna be a good change. Am I scared? Hell yeah. Being a single parent thus the only financial support to Kiddo’s life (and Vizsla’s life) being terminated at a job is scary. But I also know fear is one of the things that blindfolds us, numbs us, makes us unable to see possibilities behind such a change. I consiously hush this fear in my brain and try to focus on my possibilities. With the right mindset I am sure I will find what I am looking for.

Happy Holidays to you reading this. 2017 is gonna be hell of a year. Or rather, heaven.

08

It was the weirdest week ever. I enjoyed my job. First time in a long time. I had to go to the warehouse to pick over 18 pallets of products and I was shocked to feel the love for our products. All those colors, those shapes, those textures… I was radiating all day, in the midst of cold, dust, pallets, whatnot. I also had a fight with my superior and gave no shit to what might happen afterwards. It felt liberating. I stood up for myself and it actually worked.

So right now there are 4 jobs I have applied for. Should they get back to me, fine. But if not – applying is put on hold for now. This week I felt what had been missing for such a long time. I got to see the whole purpose for why I had got an employee of my current company. This little thing was just enough for me to shake my whiney self and see clearly that quitting for me is not for now.

I need to find a way to release my suppressed energy without making any harm in my life…. Running will be good for one, but I also need to set a goal. Something I need to achieve. I should get my acts together and start rock climbing. To prepare my body for bouldering. An old dream. Might be the right time to start making it come true.