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Happy New Year!

For me it is fine…ish… so far. Knowing is relieving. Seeing the others, though, doing their things like always, not knowing, is breaking my heart. My heart, which tells me to share the info. Against my mind, that tells me not to dare to. And mind is stronger…

On Friday we received an invitation email for a management meeting on 2017 schedule and perspectives. Bringing people to our office that never come. This email is raising questions. And I am the only one to know the answer. But I need to hide it. It is 9 more days. I must be strong.

Baileys and red wine makes me strong. At least his weekend. And I have discovered Homeland. God, I like it much! It is just the right kind of detour from the everyday shit around me. And after such a detour it is so easy to think clear and see my direction.

And my direction is either the armed forces (police) or agriculture. I am interested in both very-very much. Now, watching Homeland, I feel it must be the police. There is a specific job I have applied for, and to do which I had been encouraged by the admin of the department at the station. But when I am looking at Vizsla, I feel it should be agriculture, game management. For which to start there is also a position being created at a huge company of a guy’s here with the highest impact on local agriculture. A friend happens to be in the top management there needing an assistant badly.

All I want to do now is to remain silent at work, lay low; to have huge walks with Vizsla and enjoy our bond; and to watch Homeland  and forget about everything else. With Vizsla in my lap. Kiddo is off to Granny’s tonight, for the whole of next week. With Doc’s approval.

I need this week for… me.

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